When It Was Me
by Legacy Now
Summary: Shayera's thoughts after she learned that John and Mari were a couple. GL/V/HG


**When It Was Me**

~*~

_She's got green eyes and she's 5'5"  
Long brown hair all down her back  
Cadillac truck  
So the hell what  
What's so special about that?  
She used to model, she's done some acting  
So she weighs a buck 'o 5  
And I guess that she's alright if perfection is what you like_

---

The aftermath of the Thanagarian Invasion left Shayera's emotions unstable, but with the help of Doctor Fate, she had the strength to get back on her feet and start her life again. What Hro said to her was right. She was too attached to the people of Earth, but she could not let billions of lives die for the sake of the war with the Gordanians. The people of Earth did not deserve to have their planet blown up. They were innocent, what did they do to deserve such a cruel ordeal? Sure, some of them were greedy and arrogant, but other humans had hearts of gold and made a difference in their society. She could name a few of those humans at the top of her mind.

_"I can still pull my weight, you know. There's more to me than just a fancy ring."_

Shaking her head, she tried to get that voice out of her mind, trying all of her might to forget it. Walking out of her new room in the Watchtower, she saw a familiar red polyester costume striding down the corridor.

"Welcome back, Shayera," smiled Flash, eyes beaming with joy. "We all missed you since you've been gone!"

"Thanks..." responded Shayera, smiling back at the scarlet speedster. "That's sweet of you."

The smile on the warrior quickly turned into a frown, the glee and enthusiasm draining away from her face. The rose flush complexion was getting lighter, making her skin look sickly.

"Hey, um..." he stammered. "Wanna get coffee? You look like you could use some..."

"Sure..." she whispered, looking up to meet his gaze. "That would be nice."

---

_And I'm not jealous, no I'm not  
I just want everything she's got  
You look at her so amazed  
I remember way back when you used to look at me that way_

---

Sipping on the cup, she inhaled the fumes of the drink. With her deep breathing, her whole body seemed to be contracting every second.

Shayera remembered the first time she had a cup of coffee. It felt bitter to her tongue. Witnesses around her thought it was hilarious when she spewed it out of her mouth, but with her threat she made sure that they would never bring it up again. The "witnesses" were her _only_ friends when she first arrived on Earth. They were the Justice League. She could even remember a certain laugh that she loved with all of her moral fiber. That was a sound she could never erase from her mind, no matter how hard she tried.

Eyes quivering and trying to hold back teardrops, Shayera finally broke the silence.

"How long were they together?"

---

_Tell me what makes her so much better than me?  
What makes her just everything I can never be?  
What makes her your every dream and fantasy?  
Because I can remember when it was me_

---

"John and Mari?" answered Flash. "I was wondering when you were gonna ask about that... They've been going out for a year."

"Ah..." muttered Shayera, taking in the information.

Things were a lot different when it was just the seven of them. The Watchtower was much bigger, and there were more League members. Now and then, some people pointed fingers at her from a distance and whispered in hushed voices, but she grew accustomed to it. The warmth and embrace from John was expected in the old days, but with what happened, it looked like the signs of affection weren't coming her way anymore.

"Shay... you know this was bound to happen," began Flash. "You know that he was gonna move on and be with someone else. I'm... I'm so sorry about this..."

"Those were good times, huh? Before you guys expanded."

He replied, "yeah... they were... Shay, whatever happens, just know that you have friends that will back you up, no matter what."

"Thanks so much, Wally..."

---

_And now you don't feel the same  
I remember you would shiver every time I said your name  
You said nothing felt as good as when you gaze into my eyes  
Now you don't care I'm alive  
How did we let the fire die?_

---

The smiles and laughter from John were plentiful before the Thanagarian Invasion occurred. It was like a breath of fresh air from her stubbornness and irrationality. His eyes seemed to say, "everything's going to be okay, no matter what happens." Happy moments were easily made between them. She feared that being in a relationship with John would interfere with her mission from Thanagar and the Justice League as well, but John seemed to be relaxed about the situation.

_It was only because he didn't knew that you were a Thanagarian spy. _

Throat choking, tears rolled down her cheeks as quiet sobs sounded from her mouth. Shayera could feel Flash's hand on her back, trying to calm her down.

---

_That made you smile  
That made you laugh  
Me that made you happier than you have ever been, oh me  
That was your world  
Your perfect girl  
Nothing about me has changed  
That's why I'm here wondering_

---

Mari now had everything that Shayera used to have. There was no possibility that John would ever want her back. Nothing could bring back the carefree moments that they shared together. They laughed together. Smiled together. Shared each other's pain when times got bad. They could not do those things together anymore. No matter how much Shayera wanted to be with John again, she knew that it was not going to happen. Everything was so much brighter when it was just John and her.

---

_What makes her so much better than me?  
What makes her just everything I can never be?  
What makes her your every dream and fantasy?  
Because I can remember when it was me_

* * *

~*~

* * *

_This is what I brought you, this you can keep.  
This is what I brought, you may forget me.  
I promise you my heart just promise to sing.  
Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep._

_This is what I thought, I thought you'd need me.  
This is what I thought, so think me naive  
I'd promised you a heart, you'd promise to keep.  
Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep._

**- Prelude 12/21 - AFI**

**

* * *

****Author's Note**

Song: "When It Was Me" - Paula DeAnda

Paring: GL/V/HG

Just to let you know, "Prelude 12/21" was kind of like a conclusion of Shayera's thoughts and where she was going to go with her life. (And we know she's with John in the end, because if she didn't then where does Rex come in? :D) If it sounds disjointed, please forgive me. I just got back from a trip. :P I tried really hard to get the mistakes out.

So sorry for my other fics! I'm having major writer's block, and exams of DOOM are coming. T_T

DON'T OWN A THING.

R&R.

THIS PAGE WILL NOW SELF-DISTRUCT.

-BOOM-


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